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"Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 7:21).
In Greek, by saying "Lord Lord" you express that you belong to Him - that you identify with Him.
It's good when people get married feeling it is God's will. Not everyone gets married in God's will.
Traditionally many blacks would take as their criteria of a good wife, one that can cook well; others whether she can manage the house well. Many these days look whether the girl has a beautiful figure. Others look at the person's financial standing or whether she comes from a respected house.
Some parents would choose the bride for their son. Some of the earlier missionary societies would choose a wife fitting for the missionary men.
But a wise parent will advise his child to seek God's will in the matter.
Let's look today at three points regarding God's will.
1) Jesus said that not everyone who says Lord Lord will enter the Kingdom of Heaven but only those who do the will of God.
A certain lady walked with her walking stick and threw it up into the air, looking carefully the way it landed. She stood at a fork in the road. The minister observed her as she continued to do this up to 12 times. He asked her about it. She said, "sir I don't do anything without God. In everything I do I ask God's will". So he asked her how the stick helps her to understand God's will. She said that she throws the stick into the air and goes the way the stick points. Unfortunately the stick pointed in the opposite direction that she wanted to go, so she threw it up until it pointed in the direction she wanted to go.
Such are playing the fool doing their own will in God's name.
The Bible says God's ways are not our ways and His thoughts not our thoughts. As high as the heaven is above the earth so high is His thoughts above ours (Is 55:9). Do not do your own will in God's name.
A certain Zulu young man said that he won't seek God's will in marriage but choose for himself the "most beautiful peach" and then say that it is God's will. He did so only to find afterwards that his beautiful peach had a worm in - she was already pregnant with another man's child and gave birth not long after their marriage. He forgot the true Zulu proverb that warns young men that often a beautiful peach has a worm inside.
You need to honestly seek God's will in this matter and not play the fool with Him.
Many young people are unconcerned about the opinions of the older people and so fall into different traps.
A certain missionary organisation sent out a young man to go and do missionary work. They looked through the young ladies for a suitable helpmeet for him and eventually chose one and sent word to him to find her on the next ship. He thought of the young girls at the society and wondered which one they sent to him. The last one he wanted was the "red-head girl". When the ship arrived, it was none other than the red-head girl climbing off. They got married and many testified that of all the missionary-wives she was the best suited to him and for missionary work as evidenced by her behaviour and good works.
We do not choose a wife for a young man - we do not bring young people together neither do we separate them.
The young man will have to live with that wife and if you influenced him he will point the finger at you.
You as a young person should seek God's will in the matter. God only knows what she is really like, what's inside her.
2) Others get married because of the lust of the flesh.
A certain man in America had a wife that was unfaithful and they eventually divorced because of that. He became very critical of women saying they're all hypocrites and he became very secluded. He went to stay on a farm alone with his boy whom he decided he will raise without contact with women. When his son was a teenager he decided he would treat his son by taking him to the city, New York, to show him all the sky-scrapers and other wonders of the city.
As they walked down the street in New York, for the very first time in his life he saw girls. He asked his father about them and his father replied, "forget them, they're just geese". He continued to show him all the wonders of New York and then they returned home. That night he asked his son what impressed him the most. The son replied, "the geese".
Such is man's heart and if you don't look to God in this matter "the geese" will sweep you off your feet.
The Bible says flee from youthful lusts.
3) Marriage is ordained by God.
Fire is a good illustration. In a house there is a special fire-place where it can be made. It is good and beneficial and warms the house when made in the proper place, in the fire place. But if you take that fire outside of its rightful place and make the fire on top of your bed or on the carpet it will destroy not only the bed or carpet but the whole house. You will be fortunate to escape with your life.
Be self-controlled in this matter or it will destroy your whole life. Remember Amnon and how his lust for his sister destroyed his life.
We also see how God leads young people to get married with the wonderful example of Isaac and Rebecca.
F B Meyer wrote on understanding the will of God:
Not everything you feel on your heart is the will of God. You need to test it.
He said he was travelling by sea to England from Ireland. As they approached the English shore at night he could see nothing but the beauty of the lights of the city. So he asked the captain how he knew where to steer the ship. The captain took him to the front of the ship. He showed him two bright lights to the left and right and a third light further away. As they came closer to land the three lights started to line up and the captain said to him that he simply kept these in sight so that they remain in line.
That was a revelation and message to him. Spiritually the first light is the Word of God, the second your conscience and the third circumstances.
If you want to know and understand the will of God you need to understand God's word, then listen to your conscience and observe what is happening. If these three things align you will go by the will of God.